Wales was...

It was good! Would have been better if Paul and I had access to actual showers (And by that I don't mean the showers in other peoples caravans).

So get this, we rock up at Paul and Claire's house at 5.30 in the morning so we can all convoy down to Pembrey, and THIS is where they choose to ask me if I'd brought a hat, because my hair was going to get greasy. One puzzled look and moment later, they're all stood in the kitchen laughing. They'd lied to us about there being electricity and shower facilities on the camp site.

Not one for making a scene, I had a bit of a hissy fit internally and soon realised there was no going back. So I hunkered down and thought bugger it, having greasy hair and not having a shower for 5 days might be fun! Pfft yeah, right.

Oh electricity and hot water, how I missed you! I'll tell you one thing though, I'll never, ever take a hot shower and being able to plug things into the wall for granted!

But beyond my diva-like drama, Wales was actually nice. We were right next to a lovely beach, and it was kinda romantic snuggling up in a tent under the stars. Despite the lary drunkards that we went with (Love you guys really!!).

We did come back a day earlier than we planned though, mostly because while everyone else was busy getting wasted, Paul and I actually went and did stuff. You know, like exploring, doing whatever activities we could (Horse riding, mountain biking and QUAD BIKING. Effing loved it! Admittedly I was nervous, but come the hell on, I'm a tomboy at heart and love anything that roars. Turns out I'm a natural and impressed a lot of people with my skills and thirst for speed. I did get stuck in a revene knee deep in water though. That was fun :D

So we came back home a day early, and after a days rest we were good for going back to work. But that very morning... Paul's kidney was struck with the horrors of a stone. Yup, the bitch that is kidney stones. Two Paramedics, one ambulance and one hospital later, he's still suffering the pain. But my Paul is a tough guy and he's manning up through it.

Of course it helps that he has someone as amaaaazing as me ;)

-B xx

I disappeared again!

It's my favourite thing to do! ;)

Time for a major update I think, but I'm going to try and keep it short and sweet.

Spray tan: Terrifying but looked amazing until I showered the morning after. The colour didn't stay. Fail.

The summer ball: Good! Everyone looks good, met some great people, danced for about 3 hours solid without a drink or a break. Feet were all smooshed up the day after. Also encountered a particularly whorish colleague who decided to hit on my boyfriend right in front of me. And she was sober. Bini = Not pleased, but I kept it classy (Until she turned her back, of course!)

Life after the ball: Spending lots of time with Paul, finding it difficult to be without each other for a night whch I guess is quite adorable. We went to Ford Fair at Silverstone the same weekend as the Ball, and Paul treated me to an AMAZING helicopter ride above the track! It was brilliant and has unlocked my lust for heights. Will definitely start planning that skydive now. I've only wanted to do one for... UH FOREVER... but I never got around to booking one. I'm going to look into it now :D

Future stuff: Paul and I are off to Pembrey for a bit of a break. I say break, but we'll be wakeboarding, quadbiking, mountain biking along woodland trails, snowboarding, skiing and anything else fun that comes up! We're setting off on Thursday morning so I guess I'll check in with you guys when we get back sometime next week!

BAI! <3

-B xx

YORK

You know when you go shopping in a different city, just for a change of scenery? And you're not really all that familiar with your surroundings, but still manage to get out-noobed by the locals?

I HATE SLOW WALKERS. People who stop and longingly gaze into a shop window full well knowing there's people behind them trying to get past. People who walk so slow and meander just to stop you from getting around you. People with pushchairs and kids that really should be on leashes. Just people in general. If it didn't make me sound like a total nutjob, I'd say it was a conspiracy against me being able to walk more than 0.2mph.

So... Rant over! Now onto the good bits: Went to York with Paul today for a bit of retail therapy, seeing as though yesterday was payday. It was nice just to get out and not see the same old stuff. Bought some pretty underwear to go with my dress that I'm wearing to the summer ball, seeing as though anything of any colour other than nude seems to show right through the dress!

Oh, and I have 6 days to try and even out this horrid T-Shirt tan I seem to have acquired unknowingly. So Paul and I popped into Boots to get some advise (Ok, I actually may have dragged him. Possibly kicking and screaming, but that's neither here nor there). 

Along came this lovely lass who asked me how much I was looking to spend. After I'd explained that I didn't want to spend much, she ushered us over to the expensive St. Tropez Self-Tanning stuff and proceeded to try and sell it to me. Oh gee... Why didn't I see that one coming?! After about 10 minutes of her trying her hardest to sell it to me, I was exhausted and out of objections, so ended up buying the damn stuff.

Now I'm a self-tan virgin - Being naturally brown I never thought I'd need to resort to something like this, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So here's hoping I don't turn into a real like Oompa Loompa...

The fear is in me.

-B x

OVER IT.

Right, seeing as though I've indulged in the deepest, darkest emo depth of my soul, I'm now indulging in my, quite frankly, brilliant Jewelry making side.

Check out my newest creations on Etsy! Here's a glimpse... And yes, I know, I'm an awesome photographer too ;)

 

So what d'ya think so far? :D 

-Bini xx 

A bit of truth.

Ok here's the deal. I want a lot of things but don't know how to get them. 

I dream big but in reality do very little. I build up the motivation and 

somewhere between gaining the courage and actually doing something, I 

flounder and self-doubt decides it want to mutilate me from the inside out. 

I want what everyone else does - A happy life filled with people I love, and 

people that love me back. It's something I've never really had but figure I

deserve to. Those who know anything about me know what a tough family life 

I've had, and having to cut as many ties as possible just to keep my sanity is 

a double edged sword. Family is family, right? No matter how much I say I 

don't care, I always will. I figure that's going to be my main downfall. Yes, 

I'm a moron for doing this. I can't help that! 

I want a family of my own. But I'm scared I'd make a terrible wife or mother 

because I lack any real parental influences. It's the whole "I swear I'll be 

better than my own parents!" thing - But then my good old buddy self doubt 

creeps in again. How am I ever going to look after a family of my own if I 

can't even look after myself? I wanna karate chop self-doubt, the mofo. 

I'm scared I'll just end up alone because the idea of someone loving me 

unconditionally sounds just left of batshit insane. I've never had a really 

close friend before because everyone leaves - I've yet to find someone who 

will stick by me through thick and thin... Is it any surprise that I think this 

way when my own family can't even muster up half a rabbit shit? I've gotten

used to being let down - Which is pretty sad in itself. I shouldn't have to be

used to this. 

But they say that friends are the family you make for yourself. I'm socially 

awkward/retarded and these things don't come easily to me at all but I try. 

I'm skeptical and always look at the negatives, and assume that anything 

positive happens just so something bad can happen later. So I keep myself 

distanced. My bad. Despite this, I try to keep a smile on my face because I 

hear a nice cheerful smile attracts people to you. But what then? Circles I'm

swimming in. 

Aaaand there you have it. A tiny insight into the fucked up mind of Bini. It 

probably makes zero sense to anyone else, but I needed to get it out there, 

so indulge me this once, k? :)

Anyone got the number of a good therapist?

-B xx

The desire

... The desire to eat isn't strong lately. Not sure what's up but the thought of food makes me want to upchuck. This is all I've eaten in the last two days:

Yesterday:
A yogurt
A couple biscuits
A tiny slice of lemon merangue pie (Jayney at work brought it in for Jiblets who's leaving us this week)
Two bites of my turkey salad sandwich
Two coffees and water.

Today:
a small slice of Company Director Bob's 60th birthday cake
A tomato sausage roll
An apple
A banana
One coffee and water.

I really should force myself to eat more but damn, I just don't feel hungry! I do feel tired and sick a lot of the time though.

Might force a noodle stir-fry down my neck later. If I can pair it with some spicy thai prawn fishcakes then it sounds kind of appetising. I'll probably get up off my ass to make it and get to the fridge before the overwhelming desire to puke takes over and removes me from the kitchen to the bathroom.

Ole!

-B xx

Another one of those days

Just makes you want to tear your hair out!

You wonder how some people can get away with all the crap that they cause and not give a second thought to the victims involved. Today was one of those days where I had to try my damn hardest to bite my tongue, otherwise I'd have released all of hells motherfucking demons loose onto this person.

That's right - I held my tongue! That must mean I'm growing up ;)

Still, one day of keeping my thoughts to myself isn't going to cut it. If I'm going to continue having to experience the severe amount of bullshit being flaunted in my face on a daily basis, I'm going to have to learn something called tact. Or just learn how to block it all out. Either way, it's going to be interesting.

*************

Oh and hey, guess what! Found out my ignorant C U Next Tuesday of a father IS actually around - He's alive and well, just being himself and has the grump on with me for some fucked up reason. Yes, he's clearly screwed in the head, seeing as though the last contact I had with him was a text to wish him Happy Birthday back on March 6th. Nothing since then. I guess being a good daughter and remembering his birthday must have really. pissed. him. off. Grumble grumble.

Oh, and to make things more interesting... Remember my cousins wedding that I told ya'lls about a few journal entries ago? WEEEELP... Turns out that they sent an invite to my dad, who just never bothered to pass it on to me. You'd have thought they'd have called or text me, or heck, even facebooked me to ask why I didn't RSVP.... But alas, once again I find that the Chohan Clan are a bunch of tossers.

Anyone want a brown daughter? I'm 5'2" and can make excellent toast...

You wonder how I manage it...

A brand spanking new laptop as a birthday present from Paul, and a month after owning it I manage to get a devastating virus on the damn thing!

It soaked up all my files and held them to ransom. And before you think I'm being a drama queen, it actually - LITERALLY - held them to ransom.

Something that fooled me into thinking it was Vista Recovery basically hijacked my hard drive, worked overtime and raped and pillaged all my filesand programs before shoving a message which equated to "Fork out or you wont get your shit back, bitch."

Problem was that if you pay them, you'll effectively subscribe to them and will have to keep paying them in order to have access to your files. What a jip.

So Paul's wonderful friend who works as an IT Manager sent me over a new hard drive and a spangly disc with Windows 7 on it. Such a legend. I'm now back online and will possibly punch myself in the face if I manage to get a virus on here.

Pro-tip: Random websites = DEATH.

So other than wishing I was at Glastonbury, there isn't a great deal that I've been up to. Started shopping for  schmancy frock to wear to my companies Annual Summer Ball. Not sure I can actually out-do myself from last years gorgeous vintage 50s style dress:

Ok, so I posed like a tard. So what. I had a few too many jagerbombs and yucky champagne/wine/various other spirits and beers.

I think I'll go the opposite of quirky and vintage this year - I'm thinking sleek and minimal. Classic and sexy. Obviously this wont carry off well after a few drinks as I'll probably be face down in my dessert... But I can try ;)

-B xx

The aftermath

Camping with the other "Probefesters" was good fun - Despite the weather being rather cold and dreary.

Everyone was really nice and apparently I was the main topic of conversation on Thursday night. Turns out everyone loves me and that they prefer me to Pauls "previous" ... Woop! Obviously, people shouldn't really be comparing me to his ex as we're two entirely different people, no ones better than anyone else. But YAY! They love me! Teehee :)

Friday night I managed to let my phone jump out of my hand and straight into a sink of tepid warm water. I thought someone was texting me while I was washing my hands, and in my infinitely tipsy wisdom, I thought it was an excellent idea to try and answer said text with wet hands. Phone decided to slip out of my hands and run right under the damn tap. My baby Sony Xperia Mini is broken - Completely frazzled :( I even put it in a bag of rice to try and draw out the moisture (After shoving it under a hand dryer for about 10 minutes). But nothing worked - Dead as dead can be. Oh, and did I meantion that it wasn't insured? Erm...

Luckily my Network provider are rather great and have given me emergancy insurance today and will be delivering my replacement phone tomorrow after work. Woop woop! Just sad because I've lost all of my contacts, photos, messages... Bleh.

Saturday was good, weather was nice! And the official start to Probefest. A little disco (No one danced, tut tut) and some karaoke. I must admit I did a few songs, probably more than anyone else. That's what happens when you mix 3 types of beer and cider together though! Got lots of compliments, apparently I'm a good singer. Well I don't like to braaaag...

Sunday was good too, rainy though. Paul won two first place awards for best looking ICE (In Car Entertainment) and best sounding. POWPOW! Those lovely little trophies were taken into work and found pride of place on his desk lol.

So now I'm just recovering from this weekend, getting back into the swing of work-stuff and looking forward to the delivery of my new phone tomorrow... Lets hope it all goes down well!

-Bini xx

Bini goes camping...

This could be utterly disastrous. It's been yonks since I've gone camping, so this weekend promises to be one of two things: Awesome as hell, or hilarious (for everyone else while I throw hissy fits).

So it's Probe Fest - The Annual get together for members of Pauls car club. Probe Fest sounds kinda dirty so I'm gonna stick with Fest instead... Starts tomorrow (Thursday) and ends Sunday.

I started planning/packing at the beginning of this week, expecting the weather to be warm and sunny. I'd be forgiven for thinking it might be, given that it's almost mid-June and therefore Summer. However, I'm also a complete retard because somewhere in my romantic, hippy vision of camping out in the sunset with Paul and company, I forgot that this is England and the weather is about as reliable as getting an ant to change a lightbulb.

So with this now in mind, I've unpacked everything and am now in the process of trying to figure out what would work for all weather situations. So, jeans, leggings, strappy tops, t-shirts, underwear, socks, hoodie, waterproof jacket, trainers, flat shoes wellies and flip flops. And a dress. Because I'm an optimist like that ;)

With facilities on the campsite such as 3-star rated shower and toilet blocks, and electricity, I'm going to go all out glam and take my hairdryer. Thats right. A FRICKIN HAIRDRYER. Because I'm just that hardcore, haha.

I'll more than likely have lots of pics which I'll upload onto trusty Facebook whenever I can be bothered. I might link a few here ;)

So here comes a weekend of cars, mud, rain, fashion disasters, possible tantrums, shower-sharing and tent-nookie... Wish me luck!

-B xx

Thanks

Oof! Still a bit mardy over the whole family/non-family situation, but my boyfriend Paul gave me some perspective that night: If people can't be bothered to make the effort with me, then they sure as hell don't deserve my anger, tears or any further thought.

While that's easier said than done for someone like me (who's like a dog with a bone, I find things hard to let go of) it's getting easier as I let the days pass. As far as I'm concerned, my family are the people *I* choose to be in my life, not the people I share DNA with. Though I'm pretty certain that I must have been swapped at birth.

So this is an appreciative post to my family:

Mummy Christine and Poppy Andy - You're better parents to me than my own. You took me in when I needed it, you looked after me when I was sick, you supported me emotionally and financially. You're both true friends and I could't ask for better people in my life. I'm blessed to know you both. Thank you  for absolutely everything.

Paul - I love you - You're literally my everything. I love every minute we spend together, and I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. You're loving, supportive, funny, strong and amazing. I hope we get to spend many, many years together. The idea of growing old and grey with you makes me smile and feel all warm and fuzzy :-P And to think one "big sigh" was the start of something amazing. Mwah xx

Antonio - Wa wa we wah! You're the male version of me, which makes you awesome. I know you're my brothers best friend, but you're like an actual brother to me. We've got a weird little friendship and although it's been years since we've actually seen each other, I love how we're always in touch. You're the best surrogate-bro a girl could have. Long live Tesco tropical juice.

... I'm actually struggling to think of anyone else to put here. I guess I have a small family but it's the people I hold dearest to me... And that's all I need :)

-B xx

Chohan?

Seriously - I'm fed up to my back frickin teeth of my so called family. No, this isn't angsty teenage-style rant about how they dont understand me. It's mostly a rant about how I try and get nowhere rant, fuelled by lack of caffeine and sugar.

My cousin got married recently. Her engagement party was last year. I didn't get invited to it. I questioned her why - We've always been so close, we grew up together and hung out pretty much everyday until she moved away. We still kept in touch though. She was more like a sister to me.

So anyway, I asked her why I didn't get an invite to the engagement, that I didn't even know she was engaged. She just told me to ask her dad about it as he was in charge of the invites. I didn't take it any further, just assumed he'd forgotten about his neice.

So my cousin got married recently - No invite again. Only photos bragging about the big day being posted online - Kick in the fucking teeth or what.

So between people I thought I could rely on, to my unreliable father who I can't get hold of, I'm wondering why the hell I still use my family name. Chohan??? Get real.

I'm going to be like Prince and just have one name. Can I legally renounce a last name and just have one name?? Probably not, but is it worth keeping this last name if there's absolutely no one in my "family" who seems to give two flying rats arses about me? I don't think so.

-B xx

P.s: Did 60 sit ups today. Not as many as yesterday but still good :)

Screw you, stomach!

Alright, I'm only 5'2" and up until about a year ago, I weighed 7 and a half stone.

Somewhere in my insane contentment and newly discovered love of anything edible, I've managed to pile on another stone and a half (For you yanks, I now currently weigh 123 lbs. NOT COOL!!)

So along with my failure to train for the 5k Race For Life I'm doing in 3 weeks time, I've also neglected to pay attention to the copious amounts of junk food I've been shoving into my body. I know, I sit around on my arse all day because I work in an office. I eat to cure boredom.

So I figure it needs to change. I'm not liking this "tiny" pot belly I see when I look in the mirror. Paul says it's cute and he likes it - I think he's batshit insane.

So today after work I went for a short run (I'm sooo unfit. It nearly killed me). I then came home, did a bunch of stretches, lunges, 15 sit ups. Then some more stretches, then another 15 sit ups. I did that over and over and over. I did 75 sit ups total.

Also adjusted my diet. I've bought a fuckton of fruit (Expensive!!), eating healthier dinners, cutting out coffee, sweets and sugar where I can (the odd treat will be allowed as I'm not perfect - yet!) and the excercise thing shall continue.

Target weight? The 7.5 stone I was before - That's 105 lbs. Meaning I have to lose an almighty 18 lbs. I'm sure it can be done, I just need to stick with my plan and be tough on myself.

I guess I'm lucky that I haven't gone up a dress size, I'm still a UK size 8. The weight has gone to my tits and arse - All good in that respect, but now I'm noticing a belly bulge. So I gotta get rid of it quicker than a serial killer getting rid of bodies under the porch.

I've never done this healthy eating/dieting bollocks before, so hopefully I can stick to it and reach my goal, then maintain my weight :)

Ambitious? Can't think of anything better to be :)

-B xx

First Sale!

I had to share my good news with you! I made my very first sale on Etsy yesterday evening - Yaaaaay!! :D

It was weird... I wouldn't have known if I had sold anything if it wasn't for the buyer sending me a message to let me know that she'd given me the wrong shipping address. Then there was mild panic as I was unprepared and didn't know which courier to ship the goods to the US with. But minor drama's avoided thanks to my wonderful Paul coming to the rescue with his suggestions - I love you babe!

So with the first (of hopefully many, many more) sale under my belt, I'm now sat on my bed, editing photos for new items that I'm going to put on Etsy today, hopefully. I'm loving my new laptop by the way, it's smaller than my previous but you'd never be able to tell because it's so cleverly designed (And the screen is astonishingly bright, even on the energy saving mode and unplugged). Woop woop!

I've created a page on facebook for my Jewellery, so please stop by and like :) Also, you can keep up with my latest news and promos via Twitter -All the fabulous links you need are over on the right hand side of my blog :)

And with that... I'm off!
-Bini xx

25 and I fell off the earth

WHAAAT?! I forgot to update my blog again. I get into these patterns where I update regularly and then not at all. But I'm here now, sports fans! So that's all that counts...

Right, where to begin? The payrise at work is pretty decent, find myself having more money now which means only one thing: MORE TO SPEND ;) Shoes? Clothes? Nope... Just more jewellery making supplies lol

My 25th Birthday was great, even though I had to work that day. Paul bought me an amazing laptop because mine (Which I had suitaby named BUMHOLE) decided it wanted to die randomly. I could have gotten it fixed but it would have been a pain to find out what was wrong with it.

So other than the laptop, I got lots of cards, bottle of wine, little presents like jewellery, trinkets, and a lovely Radley mirror from Pauls mum. Plus Paul made me the most hilarious card and surprised me at work with a massive bunch of flower... I really could get used to this ;)

Ooh, and did I mention? I've FINALLY created a facebook page for my jewellery :D Click and like please, and let the world know that I'm here and I'm ready!

-Bini xx

House plants

My boyfriend Paul seems to be on a home improvement trip lately. His house is immaculate - Magnolia walls, clean and tidy. Pretty much a blank canvas... Zzzz.

So since his ex has moved out and gone on her worldly travels (Lucky lady!) Paul has the house to himself... So he's decided to buy a bunch of plants for the house and garden, and some new artwork to jazz up the boring walls. The place is now looking like it has more personality ;-) I also dig the fact that he keeps asking my opinion on whether I like/approve of something. Bless him.


So my 25th Birthday is just a couple days away now, and I already know what two of my gifts are... Already know the girls at work are going to decorate my desk and shove a ton of confetti everywhere. I'll be pulling out "happy birthday" glitter until my 26th lol.

So more on the jewellery front - I've not really made anything new or worthy of posting on Etsy recently, still searching for that elusive first sale. Admittedly, I haven't been promoting on there as much as I could be, but the fact that I have a broken laptop and broken camera isn't helping one single bit. I'll get there someday...

-Bini xx

Define FAMILY

I've never really had a close family - You know the type. Perfect little family unit in a nice suburban house with the candy cloud picket fence and lush apple tree. My upbringing was more along the lines of drunken, abusive father (I was six years old when I walked in on him holding a 15inch kitchen knife to my mums throat while she was pinned up against the kitchen counter, frozen with fear). Our house was a decent suburban house, built on a foundation of lies, deceit and your usual mix of concrete.

I'm nearing the age of 25, and I've pretty much lived without my blood-family for a few years now. We lost our family home because my father, for some unknown reason, decided that paying the bills was a waste of time. Lord knows where the money went, but we never saw a penny of it. Between explosive fights, every member of the family running away at some point and a handful of good times, my dad was busy stealing money from me, only to lie to my face when I found out. I was only 18. All that drama created a whirlwind of anger, which kind of helped me get through it in a strange way. I was 20 when we lost the house and we all went our separate ways.

But now I'm older, and I'm away from it all. I've had time to calm down and assess the damage it's done to me mentally and emotionally. I think I'm at peace with my childhood, though I would love to know what was (and still IS) going through my fathers mind...

I long to have that perfect family, the happy times, the closeness... The ideal. I know that's far from reality though. Or is it...?

I was fortunate enough to find two amazing people who I'd be happy to call my parents, who have been nothing but supportive of me from day one, despite my flaws and mistakes. They just happen to be my ex boyfriends parents though - SLIGHTLY awkward as he apparently hates my guts for moving on with my life.

So as unlucky as I've been, I've also been really lucky to have found people I want to call my family. Which leads me to the question: How would you define family? Would you say it's the people who raised you, or the people you found when you grew up - The family you choose for yourself?

Would your choice in family define you? Would you let it? Would lack of any real family connections make you any less of a person? Might explain a few of my issues...

-B xx

T-shirt tans suck

I figured this weekend's weather would be much like the previous days this week - Cold and threatening rain showers, which is why I packed some not-so-summery attire for my 4-day weekend at Paul's.

Couldn't have been more wrong. My dodgy t-shirt tan which I acquired (unfortunately) a couple weekends ago was made worse today by not having psychic abilities. So my chosen short sleeved top ended up making my tan worse by at least ten-fold (Maybe I'm exaggerating slightly there).

See, Paul and I spent the day at Wicksteed Park with the guys and girls of the UK Probe Owners Club (More affectionately known at UKPOC). They're a lovely bunch of people and we all had a laugh on the kids rides, not to mention getting soaked on log flumes. The addition of lake water concentrated with duck shit really conditioned my hair in ways that expensive stuff couldn't. I'm being sarcastic here... ;)

Still, had a good day and was nice to get to know some new people. Just pissed at my stupid tan lines. GOD DAYUM! Looking forward to going to Probe-Fest in June - Going to be a good laugh!

-Bini xx

Green thumbs and technology failure

I've barely been back to my own house in the last couple weeks! Instead, I'm literally packing up several days worth of clothes and dragging them over to Pauls place. As nice as it is hanging out with my housemate in his house and answering questions on how to spell things (I feel like a human dictionary, sadly that's because I actually am). It's nice to just chill out with Paul at his house, and not feel like I'm in the way at all.

So today Paul and I took a drive down to the local garden centre and bought some little plants for his garden, and a colourful house plant which I have decidedly named Colin (much to Pauls extreme disapproval).

We've also planted some cute little shrubs and some flowering plants, and a bunch of Marigolds dotted around the bottom of the garden. Also got a couple conifer trees which have been potted and now take pride of place on either side of the french doors on the patio :-) Give it a week for the plants to properly bed and it'll look awesome!

Oh, and apparently my laptop is broken. It won't boot up - It'll start and lights will show, but nothing will display on screen. The DVD drive runs fine, so I think the motherboard is fried. I could get it looked at, but I honestly cannot be bothered. I want something more portable, so will likely invest in a nice little netbook :) Also need a new camera. May is going to be an expensive month!

People, screw gifts for my 25th birthday - Give me money (Or just buy me a laptop and camera?) lol.

25... Dreading it. Urgh.

-B xx

Custom Jewellery for sale

Morning bloggers!

Summer is fast approaching, and all fashion savvy females are looking for the perfect necklace to match that floaty summer dress, gorgeous earrings and bracelets to set off that new bikini or even something glamerous for those sultry summer evenings...

But let's face it - You won't find something beautiful and unique on the highstreet, will you? You could walk past someone who's wearing the exact thing, and suddenly you won't feel as spangly and awesome as you did when you left the house that morning. It's happened to me one too many times (Especially when I realised my boyfriends ex girlfriend has the exact same necklace as me, I died a little on the inside).

So how do you avoid that awkward moment when someone else spots you wearing the same thing as them? The answer is that you should have bought something unique, something no one else will have because it's a one-off, handmade piece of jewellery made just for you.

I'm opening up my Etsy shop to people who want to buy more than what's on display. As with all good designer shops, all the super special pieces are kept in the back and are only available on request ;) So if you're interested in commissioning me for a one-off piece of jewellery, you know what to do...

-B xx

It's supposed to be a new beginning

... Of sorts, anyway.

Except I've been plagued with ridiculous nightmares which kind of make me realise just how insecure I am, and how little I believe in myself and my abilities. Sleepless nights aren't any fun, especially when you're also keeping someone else awake by fidgeting :(

But I'll work on that. It's a new day, and I have things I need to focus on. Things like promoting my itsy bitsy Jewellery business - If you can call it that at the moment!

I've yet to make a sale on Etsy, but that'll change soon (I'm hoping!) I'm pimping my store daily on facebook, twitter, blogging about it, and getting myself known in the Etsy forums. Maybe someone might see something they like and say "HEYIWANNABUYTHATRIGHTNOWANDTELLALLMYFRIENDS!" ... But I'm holding out for an idealistic situation which is unlikely to happen anytime soon.

Trouble is, jewellery is so highly saturated on Etsy that it's a task in itself just trying to get noticed by just a handful of people. I need to work on getting more of my put up in my shop so that I stand a better chance of bringing in peoples attention.

So today, despite the glorious sunshine (After a miserably cloudy and rainy week) - I'm going to stay in and make jewellery :)

-Bini xx

Quick update and ramble

So I made some more jewellery you should probably check out - I've put some up on Etsy for sale :) 

>>> My Etsy Shop - Click and bookmark!!!  <<<

And in the coming weeks I'm hoping to get more made, more photos taken and more Etsy listings up, and hopefully pimp myself enough to make a sale or twenty :) Starting out is gonna be tough but I'm ready to ride it out.

So I've neglected the blog again! A friend of mine, Lydia, came up round these parts a couple weekends ago, so we spent a few days doing some pretty cool stuff. I'm sure she'll get the photos up soon enough *hint hint*

Other than that I've just been working, sleeping, eating and formulating an exercise routine to help me train for 5k the Race For Life I'm doing in June. I'm skinny but DAYUM I'm unfit! Going up a flight of stairs has me gasping for air and reaching for oxygen masks/wheelchair/coffin. But I'm going to get some good running shoes this weekend and hopefully begin my training properly. According to this plan, I'll be running 3k in a week and a half. Sounds promising... We'll see. If I live, I'll be sure to update ze blog...

So in unrelated stuff... There have been a few questions plaguing my mind, mostly my own insecurities and paranoia, and nothing I don't already know the answers to. But I still feel the need to ask these questions. Whether it's for self-affirmation or hoping that I'm just being a retard is yet to be established, but I'm at least 93.8% sure that if I vocalise my thoughts, I'll probably get laughed at.

So I'm going to do nothing. I'll keep quiet, sit back and observe, and wait for it to all unfold in front of me. Maybe I'll get the answers I was looking for without looking like a twat. The likelihood of not looking twattish is about the same as turning my housemates Dyson hoover into a Sky reciever box that actually works.

Anyway, rambling on. I have an awesome boyfriend waiting for me in bed. So I'm gonna go snuggle up and fall asleep to shitty TV. Nighty-night!

-B xx

My rent wont pay itself...

I forgot to post these up on Saturday - Check out what I made:

Naturally they'll be on sale in a variety of colour combinations once I get my Etsy shop up and running... But if you're interested in buying these now then get in touch by commenting, and I'll be happy to arrange something with you :)

Time to turn this hobby into something that makes me some money, because my rent wont pay itself!!!

Today

That's it... I've decided.

I've had ENOUGH. Enough of all these pretty beads sitting around and not doing anything with them! I'm going to spend the day (Or however long my patience can manage) making jewellery :-)

I might post pics if I make something I half like...

-Bini xx

It makes me laugh

I love the Internet. It's a great place to see new things, learn, interact and generally waste time.

What made my chuckle in the past 24 hours is an old work colleague of mine which I still have as a friend on facebook, despite the fact that I've not seen her for going on 3 years and never really liked to begin with. But hey, kept her on there for the sake of keeping in touch (Don't worry, that'll change).

She's not the sharpest tool in the box, but she is a tool nonetheless. 

So this friend decided to post a photo of a "monokini" that she was thinking about purchasing and adding to the rest of her hideously unclassy wardrobe. Animal print and a geometric cut which is unflattering on almost everyone other than the woman modelling it:

I simply stated that I thought IT (the monokini) looked trashy and that I was sure she could find better. I even threw a "hun" in there so she'd know I wasn't insulting her. But seeing as though she's lacking in the braincell department, she took it as a personal insult and began TYPING IN ALL CAPS. No doubt this was because her Internet shouting would serve to intimidate me into a submissive stance, causing me to back down and fall into line and tell her how right-oh-right she is. Wrong.

Bitch be trippin, yo! 12 hours later and she still thinks I'm insulting her, despite having told her 3 times that it's the monokini that sucks, not her style.

I mean, I think her style is great if you want to look like a desperate hooker from the 80s, but style is completely subjective - Which neatly brings me to my summary:

DON'T post crap on the Internet if you're going to get all whiny and hormonal when people tell you what they think. If you expect people to fall over and tell you how amaaaaazing something is, then the Internet isn't for you. Might as well sell your computer for happytime drugs which keep you in your delusional mind state.

POW-POW! 

-B xx

Spotted

HOLD ON! I'm still alive!! For those of you who thought I was so severely traumatised by seeing my housemates one-eyed monster, you're not far off from the truth. Trauma definitely occurred, but thankfully neither of us wished to discuss the event and have swiftly moved on.

So what have I been up to since my last willy-tastic entry? WELL! Valentines Day was a good one... Mr. West opted to surprise me at work with a delivery of a mahooosive bouquet of Lillie's, roses and daisies - Much to the envy of every female in the office, I'm sure ;-)

I wanted to blog about it then but erm... Embarrassingly forgot my password to this account and then just couldn't be bothered to do a reminder. I figured I'd leave it to a day when I'm socially-deprived. Like today.

A good friend of mine, Christine and I decided to get a stand at the Sitwell Arms Wedding Fayre last Sunday - Selling the handmade bridal jewellery we make (Well lately it's been Christine's work as I've admittedly succumbed to utter laziness during the cold winter months - Hibernation is my thing). The wedding Fayre went really well - We made a sale before the event even opened to the public, which was a great start! The rest of the event went brilliantly and I hope we get more business out of it!

*****

This has been a pretty up and down week. Busy, bored, happy, saaaad, bouncy, sleepy... And I've got myself yet another cold! Despite all the healthy eating and exercise, my immune system simply sucks. But the one thing that's really got me excited this week is the fact that my face is on a billboard! POW POW!!

So pretty stoked about having been featured in an international selling fashion magazine and the main face on a billboard. Not bad for someone who doesn't want to model, huh? ;-)

Preeeetty awesome, right? :-D

So I'm off to go make more jewellery, and I'll probably update sometime soon!

-B xx

Look me in the eye...

I just came eye to eye with my housemate's willy.

Therapy plz.

Oh holy mother of Jesus

Alright, people on facebook seem to think I'm pregnant because I recently put up a status about needing to pee a lot, and another status about being tired lately.

I'm peeing lots because I'm drinking more water, and I'm tired because I'm not getting proper sleep (I keep waking up every hour, it's weird and annoying - Especially when my boyfriend Paul stays over because he's a light sleeper and I suck because I keep waking him up. I don't wake him up with sucking though, that's a different story for another time...)

Anyway, to clear the rumours - NO, I'm not pregnant. GOOD GOD PEOPLE! Stop trying to force pregnancy on me. You want a kid that bad? Go find a sperm donor and a webcam. I hear that's how they do it these days.

So because the word "pregnant" was mentioned in response to a couple of my statuses, the wondrous joys of facebook "smart" marketing technology has decided to chuck this fucking ad in my face:

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! Oh. Em. Gee... Facebook, be MORE tactful please, before I lose my patience.

Oh. And if it shows me another freakin "Send money for calls to India" advert again, I will hulk smash the facebook servers to the seventh layer of Dante's motherfucking Inferno. Yes, I'm Indian. No, I don't want India-related crap spamming me. I'm female, I don't want to see ads about shoes and tampons every two minutes.

I totally need ad-block, don't I? On the flipside, I would kinda like free huggable polar bear...

Online and real life

For the longest time I can remember being a part of online communities, whether it's part of a gaming "clan" or communities like deviantART, or even facebook.

I've met a lot of interesting people through these sites and some have come to be very close friends. It's enabled me to pimp my photography to a wider audience than what I would normally get. I've been able to sell prints on an international level via deviantART, grow as an artist and develop my own style, as well as gain a hell of a lot of contacts within the photography and fashion industry via Facebook.

It's now come to the point where I need to (lovingly) exploit all of these contacts and get my  Photography back out there in the public eye. And it's not just my photography that needs pimpage, it's my new-found love for making jewellery too ;)

Hopefully in the next few months I'll be working with resin and silver clay, which I'm seeeeeriously excited about!

So watch this space... New photographic genius aaaaaand gorgeous jewellery to come! Just need to think of a name for my online store. That's really the hardest part about it.

I sense a pattern here. I'm totally crap at picking names!

Onto a winner

I've come to the conclusion that blogs are annoying. Not the blogging itself, but more so the action and arse pain of actually creating a blog.

Pickng a name: It's all teacakes and fairylights if you have an obscure name in mind and it's actually available, but God forbid you try to create a blog using words that actually describe what it's about - You've probably got a better chance of honking the breasts of a midget nun (And actually getting away with it).

My name is Bini Chohan. I intend on blogging about stuff that interests me (i.e ME), things that annoy me (i.e YOU), my awesome photography, jewellery designs/creations yada yada. You get the general idea.

So I've just resorted to being a boring loser and using my name as the blog name. Better not write about anything work-related or my fine ass will be handed to me in the form of my P45... Hmm!!!

Anyway, I've just spent the best part of my evening thinking of a name for this bloody thing and then resorting to using my own (Productive evening then?), going through various settings and blog designs and being deafened by Glee on TV. I can't find the remote to mute it, so I'll probably stab myself in the head with a pen to save my pain. Might go to bed after that.

There's a reason why it's called beauty sleep, y'know ;-)