Define FAMILY

I've never really had a close family - You know the type. Perfect little family unit in a nice suburban house with the candy cloud picket fence and lush apple tree. My upbringing was more along the lines of drunken, abusive father (I was six years old when I walked in on him holding a 15inch kitchen knife to my mums throat while she was pinned up against the kitchen counter, frozen with fear). Our house was a decent suburban house, built on a foundation of lies, deceit and your usual mix of concrete.

I'm nearing the age of 25, and I've pretty much lived without my blood-family for a few years now. We lost our family home because my father, for some unknown reason, decided that paying the bills was a waste of time. Lord knows where the money went, but we never saw a penny of it. Between explosive fights, every member of the family running away at some point and a handful of good times, my dad was busy stealing money from me, only to lie to my face when I found out. I was only 18. All that drama created a whirlwind of anger, which kind of helped me get through it in a strange way. I was 20 when we lost the house and we all went our separate ways.

But now I'm older, and I'm away from it all. I've had time to calm down and assess the damage it's done to me mentally and emotionally. I think I'm at peace with my childhood, though I would love to know what was (and still IS) going through my fathers mind...

I long to have that perfect family, the happy times, the closeness... The ideal. I know that's far from reality though. Or is it...?

I was fortunate enough to find two amazing people who I'd be happy to call my parents, who have been nothing but supportive of me from day one, despite my flaws and mistakes. They just happen to be my ex boyfriends parents though - SLIGHTLY awkward as he apparently hates my guts for moving on with my life.

So as unlucky as I've been, I've also been really lucky to have found people I want to call my family. Which leads me to the question: How would you define family? Would you say it's the people who raised you, or the people you found when you grew up - The family you choose for yourself?

Would your choice in family define you? Would you let it? Would lack of any real family connections make you any less of a person? Might explain a few of my issues...

-B xx